About me

I was 36 years old with three small children when my 39-year-old husband died one ordinary Thursday in 2014.

The hospice nurse tapped me on the shoulder to wake me, looked me in the eyes, and then said the five words that changed my life forever: “Sweetie, I think he’s gone.”

I was one of only two people in my grief support group who actually knew what their loved one wanted done with their body. Everyone else was making very difficult guesses while also drowning with everything else at that time.

But I can talk about death. I talked about it with my late husband, and it was an easy conversation for me (and him) so I knew exactly what he wanted, and he knew what I would have wanted if it were reversed.

Four months later my stepfather died unexpectedly and alone. My mother kind of knew what he wanted, but wasn’t sure. They didn’t talk about death.

Four years after that, my father died alone in his apartment, and I was his only heir to clean it up, plan the funeral, and sort through all of his pictures, clothes, medicine and paperwork by myself. You guessed it - he didn’t talk about death either.

I learned the hard way that love is not enough when death shows up.

Someone still has to find any DNR instructions, then find the life-insurance policy (if there is one), figure out how to turn off the utilities, and still keep the kids fed while the world keeps spinning.

I never want another widow (or widower) to stand in the dark wondering, “What would have they wanted?”

I never want another only child to spend weeks hunting down decades-old bank accounts while grief sits on their chest.

So I built Calm Crossing.

We do the part most people avoid until it’s too late:

• We help you start those conversations that you keep saying you will do later.

• We help you get every wish, password, and document out of your head and into one clear place while you’re healthy.

• We walk beside families after a death so the paperwork, notifications, and decisions feel gentle instead of brutal.

My name is Jessica. I’ve been the shocked young widow, the orphaned daughter, and the exhausted executor, all before I turned 40.

Today I’m remarried to the most wonderful man, and together we’re raising a big, messy, beautiful blended family. I make sure our blended crew is protected the best I can, and we talk about anything, including death. That’s why I understand complicated, step-kids, multiple sets of beneficiaries, and why “one-size-fits-all” planning never works for real families.

You shouldn’t have to face the number one stressful situation in life alone and without a map. Let’s write your plan together, while there’s still time. I use everything I learned the hardest possible way to make sure the people you love never have to.

With love and hard-won peace,

Jessica Sole

Founder, Calm Crossing

“You shouldn’t have to face the number one stressful situation in life alone and without a map.”